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LGBTQIA+ is a term that brings on a lot of emotions, inhibitions, and confusion in people. And if you are part of the community, it is normal to have a hard time coming out to your parents. Make sure to lay the groundwork before settling down with the conversation. A huge step towards adulthood, how to find out if your parents support LGBTQ, is a question that needs to be answered. Here we have brought to you 10 tips on how to go forward with this conversation:
Let’s Check Out How to Move in With These 10 Tips!
1. Choose The Right Time and Place With No Distractions
Living in a fast-paced world like ours can make you lose connections and be uncommunicative. So when you are revealing such an important phase of your life, make sure you create an environment of no multitasking (neither you nor your parents should be engaged in other activities such as using phones, watching television, etc.). Have your parents’ undivided attention before you begin expressing yourself.
Also, do not pick a family event to reveal the matter as a private and intimate conversation is what you need to get their acceptance. It will be shocking and difficult for your parents to fully process what you are saying, but be patient.
2. Accept That Their First Reaction Might Be Disappointing
Your parents’ first reaction might not necessarily be accepted as you have a lifetime to come to terms with your preferred sexuality whereas they will only begin thinking of the swerve when you broach the topic. They naturally have preconceived expectations and/ or notions about you and will take some time to overcome them.
Put yourself in their shoes and understand that you would take time off to process too when you will be suddenly told about such a major change in life. Sit with them with information and answer their questions. Simply, discuss with patience and try not to feel judged by them or judge them for fighting with their preconceived images. With time, they will align with the new chapter in your life.
3. Tell The Most Important People Before Telling The Whole World
It might seem scary and the fear of begging judged by the near and dear ones might keep you from revealing your orientation to them. It is easier to reveal it to the world as their judgement might not affect you much. However, when your family finds out you align with LGBTQ from someone else, this might seem like betrayal, and accepting it might turn conflicting for them. Telling them firsthand will make them respond to it more positively.
4. Ensure Your Safety and Well Being
Your mental health is a priority when it comes to revealing your orientation as a member of the LGBTQIA +. If you think your parents’ prior response to the community has not been welcoming then we suggest you wait till you are independent of them before coming out.
Ask yourself if they have physical or verbally abusive tendencies because it might get directed at you when you come out to them. A crucial tip on how to find out if your parents support LGBTQ is to test the waters by talking about them in general. Note your parents’ reactions and move accordingly.
Under unsafe conditions, get in touch with the local LGBTQ shelters and figure out how to live on a budget. Reach out to trustable friends or family and ensure a way to reach them in case of emotional support or housing.
5. Be Clear About Who Your Parents Can or Cannot Tell
Some people would not appreciate another person from the LGBTQ community. So ask your parents to talk with you before they reveal your identity to someone else. People not comfortable with the LGBTQ might be your worst nightmare as they could get around to harassing you. Remember you have come a long way to align with your body and soul and do not want random people spoiling it for you.
However, some are fine with their parents telling others about their identity as it means one less awkward conversation they need to have. Whichever you prefer, let your parents know how you feel about them.
6. Focus On The Positives
Another never-to-forget step on how to find out if your parents support LGBTQ is to tell them that what you are telling them is coming from a place of love and trust. Preface the coming-out conversation with a statement of love and hope. This will make them feel what you feel and reciprocate the same.
Parents’ first reaction might be to talk you out of being gay so an affirming and positive tone will calm down your parents’ anxieties. Do not talk about your doubts about your sexual orientation as it might confuse them even more. Be ascertained who you are and then get around the conversation.
7. Empathize With Your Parents
Your heteronormative parents might not know how to parent a gay child. If they have peers to discuss, they might do better but in case they don’t, they might end up making unintentionally hurtful and offensive statements.
Whenever that happens, try not to respond with resentment and anger. Initiate a calm conversation explaining how whatever they said has hurt your sentiments. Tell them ways to make you feel loved and accepted.
8. Confide Your Feelings and Thoughts to Your Parents
Once you have given them the news and have given them time to process your new identity, you can share your journey with them. Tell them about your frequent denial, loss, shame, anger, fear, guilt, and finally acceptance. Since you have been on the journey of acceptance, your wisdom will help our parents to overcome their inhibitions too.
9. Make It Clear That This is a Beginning in Your Life
What parents need to understand at the end of the day is that this is the beginning of your life and not the end. Coming out is a process and it’s not just a conversation one fine day. Create a dialogue with your parents so they know your past journey and they see how you are living your present identity. Appropriate language to address you will only develop in them once you show them how you wear the new identity, how you associate with it, and that you are the happiest of all the years.
10. Give Your Parents Educational Information
Collect as much LGBTQ material as possible and have them go through it. This will help them understand that the LGBTQ is a world that requires a great deal of acceptance and that it’s okay to not be able to come to terms with it initially. Especially if your parents do not have gay family or friends, it would be a good idea to give them all the resources you could lay your hands on.
The Bottom Line on How to Find Out If Your Parents Support LGBTQ
LGBTQIA+ is a community that includes all the marginalized sexually oriented people but have a difficult time being accepted by the heterosexual community. This inequality was created because of lack of awareness about what the community stands for. How to find out if your parents support LGBTQ is a question that pops up on every young LGBTQ member’s mind. Follow our 10 tips and let your parents know that this new journey could be their new journey too.
